Recently I was writing a personal letter to a relative and I reminded myself of a personal mantra – Not to “chase” anyone. Chasing people is a waste of time, most importantly yours.
To be clear, I’m not talking about chasing someone down a street in my car, this is something else. I decided years ago (as part of my sales & career training) that I wasn’t going to “chase” anyone anymore – Professionally or personally for that matter.
What? Yes – Stop Chasing People!
Think about this for a moment – do you have “friends” that never call you? Do you have people in your life that don’t make an effort to maintain your relationship? Do you feel that those relationships are supported solely by your effort alone, that if you didn’t call – would you never speak to them? Do some people only call when they need something, but they’re not available when you need them?
If you thought “YES” to any of that, you need to do some soul-searching about who’s really your friend, and who is a leech. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – sometimes you have to cut the fat…
On a personal level – There are the folks that insist you keep calling them back – they’re eternally “busy” or “don’t have time right now.” Or in the professional scenario – there are the “never-responders” (those who claim to be interested, but won’t return your call) are simply a waste of time. You can call these people all you want, but they don’t buy.
In both cases these people feed off of the energy of the people that they keep at bay, it makes them feel important. Of course this doesn’t do anything for the person who is doing the chasing, but it makes the person being chased feel validated. Making all that effort to chase people is a waste of time [yours, mine and theirs] and as an adult – wasting time is one of my biggest pet peeves, I just can’t do it anymore.
Now as it relates to family and my personal life, well – I cut the fat of my friends years ago, and I still do it occasionally every so often. It’s a healthy thing for me. What does that mean? If there was someone I considered a friend, I would naturally communicate with them often, and we would mutually make the minimum of efforts to keep in touch. One example of this type of friendship is/was Mike Thomas. Before he passed, he and I would only speak once every few months, but when we did it was like yesterday, and not a moment had gone by since we last talked. That was a friendship that transcended time and space, and he was once of the best friends I’ve had to date. I miss him and that relationship.
The takeaway from this is simple – good friends and family make the effort – but for those who don’t – Don’t chase them (let it go). Cut the fat today and free yourself. As the graphic up top so appropriately says…
When you stop chasing the wrong things (people), you give the right things a chance to catch you.
By Louis Wing