Local Crack Dealer Found Lurking In The Shadows, Overwhelmed by Angry Mob

Today a local Philadelphia crack dealer [Jonny Keurig] was surrounded and eventually subdued by a group of users in search of their high.

The crowd became frantic by the low levels of caffeine running through their veins and became a loud “mob of people.” Yet in the end was just an unruly bunch, all tweaked out… just needing their drug of choice.

These were everyday folk I’m talking about. But they were no match for Keurig, he is an intimidating figure, but he always shows up and he always had the good stuff. Keurig just looks at you, all junked up. All of you sharing a single, common thread amongst you.

He sometimes yells out “All of you have to have your morning crack, your oh-so-precious coffee… now look at you, you’re all junkies.

In the end this is a sad story about caffeine junkies and their lowly dealer. He was lurking in the shadows of La Cocina, hiding in plain sight.

Only the signature triangle of blue neon lights on his forehead gave him away, he was quickly spotted and immediately overwhelmed by the crack users; all feigning for their morning fix.

The scene afterwards was a mess – random grains of sugar scattered all over the counter, dirty wet stirring spoons, a partially used napkin, and splatters of creamer everywhere. There were punctured crack containers strewn about, dejected and used, left behind to be treated like trash.

And not a sole in sight, once they got what they wanted they left in haste. Leaving behind this now abandoned crack dealer, emptied of product and water levels running very low; nearly empty.

But he knows they’ll be back, ohh yes – he knows they’ll be back real soon. After all, they need Jonny Keurig more than he needs them.

By Louis Wing

_______________ RECENT WATER COOLER POSTS _______________
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About Louis Wing 68 Articles
I talk about this, that, and the other stuff. I have to admit I may ramble on and on... but I am usually driving to a point. Educated and street-smart, I like my beats downtempo. Read more about Louis Wing

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