Losing Contact with Friends and Fraternity Brothers

I just think its funny… I guess, how you lose contact with some people you thought you’d be friends with forever. Now I’m not saying that I liked every one of my fraternity brothers, I can actually say that I disliked a few more than you’d think (Popkin)! but I would never say that I hate anyone, because thats such a strong word, too strong for most anyone you’ve every really gotten to know. So I don’t hate, I just wouldn’t. Even if I stole their girlfriend and they might hate me, I don’t hate back… lol

But I can say that I think its funny. Now that I look back at college, the college years really… and think of all of the beer and late-night pizza… I think of all of the drunken “hookups” and the fake ID’s, the waiting in line to get into our favorite college bars.

Even funnier was having to deal with the losers who were the bouncers at those bars, those who thought they were cool because people had to befriend them just to secure their entry into these crappy little watering holes. I think that’s funny too. I couldn’t stand them back then.. and I can only hope and imagine those folks took a turn for the better since those days. Yeah Yeah Yeah.

Nowadays when I look back at those same college years, and I think more about the people I was friends with, and taking that a step further, my fraternity brothers. These were people I ate really messed up stuff with, drank to excess, packed 25 deep into a winnebago for roadtrips; we were really connected with at some point.

At the time, I would have sworn I’d still be great friends with most everyone I was close with then, but life takes over and you lose touch; it happens.

Out of all of the brothers in my house AEPi (more than 100) in my few years at the University of Maryland, I am still friends with many of them, but not all (that would be unrealistic I think).

Out of ALL of them, I keep in contact with 30 or so on facebook, twitter, and email.

Out of those few, I am still very close with a handful of people, of whom I consider “brothers” that I would go to bat for. That close! Big UP to Heath, J2K, Ian, JG, Evan… you know who you are.

But what about the rest? What about them (one might say)? Well, some of these guys were roommates and from that, you’d even expect us to be closer, but maybe thats just it. Because I got to know them even better, maybe thats why I don’t keep up with them now.

Let me make a distinction here because I have to (this is almost like a disclaimer really), I have some friends from high school and that era of my life that I will remain close with, but maybe I don’t speak with them but a few times a year, and its like we just spoke yesterday.

We’re all busy and have lives to live, but when the time happens upon us, we reconnect instantly and its like we were back in the same bar, sitting back and downing some brews together… like there hasn’t been a day since we last spoke. Love those kind of REAL friends, I have a few of them (i’m sure you do too).

But there are more that I don’t keep in touch with, and I just can’t explain why. I should also say that I’m not trying to either, but that doesn’t take away from the question of why.

For example… There are several of my fraternity brothers who live nearby that appear to have shied away from any real contact and it just doesn’t make sense. One in particular lives less than 40 minutes away (I live in Miami, FL, he lives a little bit north in Broward), and I’ve not heard a peep from him since I moved to FL.

He married his college sweetheart who grew up in South Florida. Interestingly enough, he was a roommate of mine and I was one of few people who actually supported him and his relationship with his then-girlfriend, when it wasn’t so popular to do so…Funny.

After moving to Miami in ’97, I guess I just assumed and figured that we’d connect when he later moved down… but not so! I did not get an invite to their wedding (which was in FL), but I’ve also not gotten 1 call, 1 email, nothing). I remember sending him an email a few years back, so I made some effort, but no response? Humm, that is funny!

Now I really don’t care about the wedding snub, whatever really… I am really ok with that, weddings are weddings.. but it sure seems FUNNY that he has never reached out once, considering it was well known that I live down here. Funny.

Overall I really don’t care, I don’t lose any sleep over this.  He’s not on facebook so I can’t really connect with him there (no big deal).

Just today (because I felt so compelled) sent him an invitation on LinkedIN. I would certainly like to see if I can reconnect with an old friend.

Let’s see if he responds,… To Be Continued.

By Louis Wing

1 Comment on Losing Contact with Friends and Fraternity Brothers

  1. I DID end up reconnecting with an old friend! Good to see that the brotherhood was still alive and kicking.

    Going to meet up with him sometime next week.

    – Good Chi Workin

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