The National Flub and Other Superbowl Sunday Funnies

And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night… Yeah, I don’t need to say the rest, you already know I’m talking about our National Anthem. You do remember the words?!? I mean, how many times have you sang that song? Ok, I’m sure most all of us haven’t done that in front of a huge crowd, nor were any of our performances witness by MILLIONS of people.  That just makes yesterday’s flubbing by Christina Aguilera that much funnier.

There were a few things that were funny yesterday, Superbowl Sunday.. Here’s my top 10 list of hilarious things (mostly about the commercials). If you don’t think they are funny, please just keep it to yourself, and chalk it up as this author’s opinion only.  I mean… you don’t have to agree, but just don’t get all offended, ok? ok.

1) Christina Aguilera missed on a few of the lyrics to our National Anthem. Big Deal..? No, but people will talk about it. She’s sings with such flair, but not the song about bombs bursting in air. It should be noted that she has an incredible voice, and I’d listen to her sing every day (and twice on Sunday), especially when compared to Rosanne Barr’s version (with or without the spit at the end). FAIL!

2) Timothy Hutton’s participation in the offensive, yet funny commercial for Groupon. Thought this was an endearing public service announcement about the causes of the world, and then he drops the joke and gets into the discount on the fish dish. I thought this was plain WRONG, but damn funny if you have a sense of humor. No diss intended to anyone from Tibet, I just think this is social phenomena in play.

3) Watching the Pepsi Max commercial and seeing the dude get racked with the flying soda can. Nuff said.

4) The Darth Vader Kid in the Volkswagon commercial. Not to get hung up on the commercials, but if you didn’t crack a smile on this one, you have the personality of a cockroach! Everyone in the room thought this was awesome, with a good bit of “feel good” mixed right in.

5) The Living Social Ad – I dunno about you guys out there, but if a website purports itself to having me getting into makeup and high-heels, clearly this isn’t the right site for ME. You can have at it, but I’m gonna pass on that one.

6) A Commercial for Cholesterol-lowering drug, right before the day of a large fat-intake session. Ok, so Lovaza wants to market to the people about to consume alot of beer and cheese dip? Was this REALLY the right moment to take a shot at impressing people to take this medication? I think that maybe AFTER the damn game you’d have a better shot at making this moment count. Instead, you’ve asserted some Jewish motherly guilt before the caloric onslaught, or just made people think you were an idiot. Take your pic here.

7) The bears have come out of the woods, and they are looking for their fix of McDon’s fries. Yeah, I believe that one. But the scene was much to clean for reality, too neat. Whatever though, I do like McDonald’s fries alot myself. Maybe they can give the bears a shot of Lovaza to wash down all of those calories. humm.

8 ) Yes, I CAN hear you now. D’OH! Here’s the BIG FU to AT&T, courtesy of Verizon. I love a good diss like everyone else, and after having been a customer of theirs before, I really enjoyed this one! We jailbroke my wife’s iPhone a while ago and we’re happy on T-Mobile. Screw AT&T  (Really), so kudos to Verizon for having their finger on the pulse of America.

9) Doritos sniffing dude. Are you going to sit there and try to snort the orange cheese dust from that man’s pants? Forreal? Well, Hey I like doritos just as much as the next obese American, but I’m not THAT desperate to get my fix. I think we need to have them tune into A and E’s  Intervention. Like any of their episodes… I can just see it now. “Johnny has a serious problem, and his family is going to get him help…” turning to show Johnny in his bedroom – “I just wake up and have to get my Doritos on, forget work man, I gotta have it” [with the orange crap all over his dried up lips…](we’ll see if Johnny can get the help he needs to survive) tune in next week to find out more.

10) LAST ONE (promise) The spot for the flower delivery with Faith Hill, where she tells her friend to just “say what you really feel” and she’ll love it.  “You’ve got such a NICE RACK“… WOW, did he just say that? LMAO – I mean – WOW. I know alot of men might be THINKING that about the woman next to them, but c’mon! you’re gonna let that double-secret thought OUT of the bag? What’s next? a site for married people to cheat? oh.. wait, yeah – thats already been done.. (e.g. –  – Life is too short, have an affair… humm – sooo, what do you do when you find a profile for your significant other up there? Tell her she’s got a “Nice Rack” Hellyeah!

… In all fairness… there were many more things we can takeaway from Superbowl Sunday, and I could yap all day about this stuff. But seriously.. All of us have the attention span of the average goldfish, so I have to keep this short.

By Louis Wing

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